To Fat Shame or Not to Fat Shame

To Fat Shame or Not to Fat Shame

Hopefully the title was rage-baity enough to get you to read this. This is more of a thought piece than anything else.

Within the fitness industry, there's a common mindset that fat shaming and weight discrimination are a big no-no—and for good reason. Research suggests that weight stigma can actually lead to less physical activity and greater calorie consumption. Studies such as Perceived Weight Discrimination and Obesity (Sutin & Terracciano, 2013) and The Impact of Weight Stigma on Caloric Consumption (Schvey, Puhl, & Brownell, 2011) support this idea.

I think it's pretty obvious that fostering a positive, nurturing environment leads to better outcomes. That should be a no-brainer by now. We have decades of research across multiple areas showing that positive environments outperform negative ones. People who come from supportive environments tend to do better in fitness, finances, relationships, and overall well-being.

That said, there are always outliers who respond well to negative environments.

Take David Goggins, for example. He often talks negatively to himself, holds himself to an incredibly harsh standard, and is brutally honest about his shortcomings. That mindset helped him create tremendous success as a Navy SEAL, author, speaker, ultramarathon runner, and world-record holder.

When we go back to basic psychology, concepts like positive and negative reinforcement, along with positive and negative punishment, are useful tools for shaping behavior. For short-term behavior change, punishment can be effective. Military boot camps, for example, often use harsh criticism and strict consequences to shape behavior quickly and efficiently. The problem is that once the external pressure disappears, the unwanted behavior often returns.

There also has to be a balance between breaking someone down and building them back up.

I recently listened to a Huberman Lab podcast featuring psychologist Dr. Kentaro Fujita. He discussed how negative self-talk can sometimes help people make better short-term decisions. For example, someone reaching for junk food might stop themselves by thinking, "Don't be a piece of shit." In that moment, it may interrupt the behavior. But adopting that mindset long-term is terrible for your mental well-being and sense of self-worth.

The complexity of human behavior is almost impossible to fully understand. Every person is different—biologically, psychologically, culturally, and socially.

Ultimately, the point I'm trying to make is this: for some people, fat shaming can be deeply damaging. For others, it can be the catalyst that finally motivates them to change.

If you're fat shaming someone because you think you're superior or because you enjoy looking down on them, I think you're being an asshole.

Personally, I don't like using shame as a coaching tool because I don't know someone's history or how they'll respond. Around some of my close fitness friends, we might bust each other's chops if one of us has fallen off the wagon. In that context, it's understood, it's mutual, and sometimes it's enough motivation to get us back on track. That's very different from publicly humiliating or degrading someone.

There's another question worth asking: Why are we giving mean people so much power over our thoughts and behavior?

Why not pause, reflect, and choose how you want to respond instead of letting someone else dictate your emotions? If every demeaning comment stopped people from pursuing their goals, no one would ever accomplish anything worthwhile. In fact, many of the most successful people in the world have faced relentless criticism.

Some people may have developed such a strong foundation of confidence and self-worth that insults simply don't stick. Maybe they grew up in supportive environments that helped them build that resilience. I also think resilience is something that can be trained. With practice, we can become more proactive in how we respond to criticism—including fat shaming—instead of automatically reacting to it.

Finally, I think people who fat shame others out of spite or malice often have their own struggles they need to address. My hope is that, regardless of what someone says to you, you can reach a place where their words no longer determine your actions or your self-worth.

Because you're worth more than someone else's opinion.